Creature From The Black Lagoon

Hello my lovelies! Tis I, back from the depths of blogging hiatus! Thank-you to those who have stuck around to see me blog another day and hello to any new readers!

Of course my absence, as always, can be blamed on none other than the No.1 culprit The Other Bowel Problems.
The weekend before last I was back in A&E again, clutching my poor tummy and babbling incoherently in my state of dehydrated delirium. Not how I'd usually like to spend my weekends, no matter how much morphine is involved. A nice nurse tried to conjure up a vein from the abyss of my arm and I was finally rehydrated and medicated up to the eyeballs.
It always seems that whenever I'm in hospital I'm only ever designated the young, good looking male doctors. Which on the face of it wouldn't be too bad, if my ailments were of the non embarrassing variety.
After reeling of every intimate detail of my bowels to a dishy A&E doctor I was then wheeled round to the Emergency Assessment Unit (EAU) where I then had to repeat the same conversation again with another handsome specimen, who I could hear outside at the nurses station snapping on a pair of sterile gloves while I lay on a sweat box of a hospital bed imagining what fresh hell could be about to occur that entailed the wearing of sterile gloves.
However I managed to side step the bum exam he intended for me by protesting I'd already been violated in A&E. Which I hadn't, but there was a flying bacon's chance I was got to let dishy doc numero deux anywhere near the junk on my trunk.
Anyone who has been in hospital will tell you its not the restful place it proclaims to be. When your not having your veins sized up, your being x-rayed, having your Ob's taken or being interrogated by all and sundry. Besides all this there is always plenty to keep you  awake, which was especially true of  my ward that night.
The lady in the bay next to mine, although perfectly able to walk seemed to enjoy punishing the nursing staff by being completely unco-operative and unhelpful every time she needed the commode 'I need a tinkle, NURRRRSEEE!', thus forcing the tiny Filipino staff nurse and equally dinky HCA to awkwardly maneuver her onto the bog on wheels.
Even after all this palaver she still manage to tiddle on the floor, which escaped the nurses notice up until the moment when putting the lady back in bed she waded through the puddle, booming in a voice that was surprisingly loud for someone the size of a Polly Pocket 'Oh darling, look! LOOK! You peed on the floor! Bed pan for you next time!'. 
I then forced myself to stay awake during ward rounds,which is my favourite part of the hospital day (after painkiller time) as you get to eavesdrop and find out whats wrong with everyone else on the ward. Not as if its hard really, since a peice of material pulled round a hospital bed hardly keeps people from being unable to hear whats going on behind it.
I was also pleased that I was awake to witness the effeminate cleaner mopping the floor with one hand on his hip humming 'I Want To Break Free' by Queen.

You couldn't make this stuff up.

Despite all this hospital high jinx, I managed to escape and have been moaning and bitching in the comfort of my own home ever since.
I've got to be honest and say that I've been finding my illness very hard to cope with recently, but I've devised a battle plan for my blog which will hopefully mean that I will be posting much more regularly and thus help to distract myself from feeling cruddy.
The Other Bowel Problems have dominated my life far too much recently and I've had to cancel some dates which have been really important to me, including one of my oldest friends Liz's wedding, which I was heartbroken to miss.
It annoys the crap out of me that my illness dictates so much of my life, and its all very well for people on the outside looking in to say 'well you shouldn't let it dictate your life' but with all the will in the world I cannot make my body behave just because I want it too.

Anyway. I have tonnes of recipes and interviews and all sorts of nice things in the the pipeline for you lovely lot.
Just starting uni? Head on over to Saara's blog The Gluten Free Student Cookbook for tips, advice and recipes on being a Coeliac student. Saara's lovely, and I've had a chance to get to know her a bit better through Twitter and she's a diamond so go check out her blog.
Skye posted an absolutely yummy looking cake recipe on her blog at the weekend, which I cannot wait to try. Skye has been an amazing friend to me over the past year and now that shes moved to Brighton I can't wait to spend some time with her.

Buckets of peppermint tea in my favourite mug have been keeping me going.

Filling in my pretty recipe file that Steve's mum bought me for my birthday this year.

My Dad and I are in love with Delicious mag at the moment

The super cute cupcake cross stitch that Skye sent me

Cosy new winter jammies.

Oopsy Daisy Upside Down Apple Cake

After you've finished yakking after reading my vom worthy 'Daddy Cool' post I thought you might like to indulge in a yummy-o, calorific Apple Upside Down Cake (the point being you turn the cake upside down,not eat it whilst upside down...but you knew that already).
I wouldn't have ever attempted an upside down anything due to my innate ability to pretty much drop anything I pick up, but my Dad found it while flicking though my new Rachel Allen cook book (a barginlicious £5 from W H Smith) and I had promised him a dessert of his choice for Fathers Day and this was what he chose, and blow me if it didn't actually come out pretty much perfectly! I refuse to revel silently in my success since nothing ever really goes exactly how I want it when I make it!

Ingredients

• 3 Eating apples (I used Pink Ladies,cos I like the name and the stickers on them)
• 250g Light brown sugar (you could use caster sugar but the darker sugar works well with the apple and the cinnamon)
• 50g Butter
• 200g Plain Flour (Doves Farm as per usual)
• 2 Large eggs
• 3 fl oz Sunflower Oil (veg oil would also do,but not olive oil-too strong in taste)
• 1 tsp G/F baking powder (I use Dr Oetker)
• 1/2 Salt
• A generous pinch of bicarbonate of soda (Dr Oekter again)
• A nice big heaped tsp pf cinnamon
• 7 fl oz Buttermilk

Extras

• You can make this in a largish oven proof frying pan (around 10inches across) or you can use a Pyrex dish as I did. (I'll give instructions for both methods)
• Sieve

Method

• Whack your oven up to Gas 4.
• While the oven warms you can get on with melting your butter over a gentle heat in a frying pan. Once its melted add in half the sugar giving it a good old stir and cook the mixture of a low heat for around 2-3 minutes. Keep the heat low to avoid burning the sugar. Burnt sugar on a pan is a pain in the arse to get off.
• Slice your apples to a decent thickness and add into the pan. If your cooking your cake in your frying pan, set to the side while you get on with making your cake mix. If your using a dish spoon the toffee/apple mix evenly over the bottom of your dish and set aside.
• Sieve your flour, baking powder, bicarb, cinnamon and salt together into a big bowl and give it a quick stir. 
• In a separate bowl crack in your eggs and whisk with a fork. Add in the buttermilk, the rest of the sugar and the oil, giving it all a proper good stir to combine.
• Pour the egg/buttermilk mix in with your dry ingredients, give it some welly and stir until you have a smooth cake mix. Don't worry if there's a lump or two here and there. Raymond Blanc isn't coming to tea.
• Pour the cake mix over the apples (whether in a pan or dish) and pop your pan/dish in the oven for around 30minutes or until the cake has turned golden and is firm to touch.
• When it's cooked, take the cake out of the oven and leave to cool. As it cools it will start to come away from the sides of the dish/pan.
• Now for the utterly terrifying bit. Find yourself a big plate and place (face down) over the frying pan/dish and flip the pan/dish and plate over quickly and in one motion if possible. If the cake doesn't quite come away, leave the dish upside over the plate, it will start to suction away after a few seconds.
• If like my Dad and I you can't wait and are willing to risk third degree burns to your gullet tuck in. It's also yummy a bit cooler with a drop of cream (I don't even know why I said that since I hate cream on puddings). 
• Take to Twitter and tell the world you have successfully completed an upside down cake.Back of the net.

Daddy Cool

This year has been particularly hard on our family, not least because of my Dad's heart scare last November.
Today is Fathers Day. I wrote my Dad a letter to tell him how much I love him (I didn't post it like, since I live with him!). It was 3 pages long,but I still didn't manage to say all I wanted to,but I suppose there just aren't enough words to say how much you love someone.
My Dad has been an avid fan and constant supporter of this blog and of me. His love and encouragement are unflagging and finite.
He has saved my life in more ways than one. As sure as day follows night, I love my Dad, more than anything. Being with him is as simple as breathing.
I've given him many reasons to worry, stress and be angry over the years. I've frightened him with my callousness and carelessness, thrown his concern back in his face, and scorned his worry as trivia.
When I was a teenager we would fit like cat and dog, and there was so many times I went to bed cross with him, or upset because he was cross with me. Now, as then, if we argue I'll always sneak into my parents room in the dark to whisper to him, 'I'm sorry'.
Whenever I hear the (hugely over played-we can thank Sex and the City for that) song You Got the Love by Candi Staton I think of my Dad. I know the song is actually about god and faith and turning to Him in times of trouble. But I don't have a god I believe in.I believe in my Dad and I put my faith in him.
Thank-You Daddy, I love you.