A’ Wight my lovers?
It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged (muchos apologies
for that, one has missed you all!) and much has changed. While my health has remained
a continued source of ball aches, it’s with a Stilton strength cheesy grin that
I can report a huge improvement in all things depression and mood related and
since I started The Cambridge Diet in August I’ve had even more reason to wrack
up the Stilton smiles.
It was times like the 27th of August, one day BC
(Before Cambridge), that you wonder to yourself how you got to this point in
time. Not in a Michael Fox jumping into The Delorian kind of way (although
maybe if I’d had a Delorian I’d travel back in time and sew my gob shut).
No, what I was wondering was, ‘how did I let myself put on this
much weight?’. It’s not like an arse this size can creep up on you, yet one
morning I woke up and realised ‘Holy Moses, I’ve become quite the
chunker’.
And no I’m not actually a deluded size 8, prancing around my
room declaring ‘I’m so fat and bloated!” when all I need is a good fart. I am
overweight, under the BMI system and NHS guidelines.
I’ll spare you all the self indulgent crap about how I
managed to put on weight and I will readily admit that I am 60% to blame for
moving to Chunk Town and setting up shop. Maybe 70% if I’m being generous.
I shan’t play the old Health Card again (poor thing is so
dog eared now that I’m going to have to laminate it) but I will say in my defence
(flimsy though it is) as well as eating all the wrong things, illness and
medication have also been additional factors in my overall weight gain.
Laziness and lack of motivation haven’t helped either, in fact they couldn’t
have been any less of a help if they’d run up the street to Healthy Living and
set up roadblocks.
It’s not easy to admit its your own fault that you’re now so
overweight that everything you wear has to have lycra in it, but with no-one
else left to accuse the blame comes full circle.
But now the ghost is up (as well as the weight gain). If you
let it, your arse will get so big you’ll catch sight of it out of the corner of
your eye and begin to thing that someone is chasing you. Nobody needs to be
stalked by their own arse, and mine was well and truly hounding me.
So I am now 5weeks in and I’ve lost a stone and 2lbs. Everyone needs to come to the decision
of losing/gaining weight and how they’re going to do it in their own time and
under their own steam. As well as realising that my main food group was chocolate
I had a lengthy and honest conversation with my endocrinologist who recommended
Cambridge (I like shortening it to Cambridge, someone could stumble upon this
blog and mistake me for and intellectual).
You’re also designated a consultant who you see once a week
for your weigh in’s and chats and mine is called Trudi and as well as having
done the diet herself (and looking amazing for it, the jammy wotsit!) she’s
there day and night to always keep me motivated and she’s better than a bag of
Haribo when I’m struggling. Everyone needs a Trudi if they’re trying to lose
weight.
I’d like to say that the past 5weeks have been really hard
and I feel a total smug cow when I say that I’ve actually really enjoyed
them. As per my depression, my
arse is something I’m simply trying to size down into more workable proportions
While this is currently a big part of my life and will have
an affect on some of the coming recipes I post, never fear, I still advocate a
varied and balanced diet and there will still be the cake and cookie recipes
that everyone knows and loves…you’ll just have to bake ‘em, eat ‘em and enjoy
‘em for me for the time being!
I’m not interested in boring the tits off you all with any
brutally emotional diet interplay but I would obviously like to acknowledge and
embrace the somewhat symbiotic relationship between a persons physical
size/appearance (under or overweight) and the affect it has on their confidence
and self esteem.
People lose and gain weight for a million different reasons,
all of them, quite frankly, nobody else’s pissing business.
Not all of us sprung from the well of good genes and fast
metabolisms, and I wouldn’t dream of going to go up to someone in the street
who had a face like a builders elbow and ask them why they’re so bloody ugly,
would you?
Our appearance specifically our weight and bodies and
peoples opinions of it seem to have public property whether it’s asked for or
not. I think that’s half the reason women ask if their bum looks big, it’s to pre-empt
being told that it does!
Women of our generation are a breed apart when it comes to
the art of being a Mega Bitch and when it comes to criticising other women we
all seem to jump on the bandwagon with un-abandoned, zealous glee and will
ravage each others looks and weight like the zombies that chase that poor
Andrew Lincoln man on The Walking Dead.
My point is (Many apologies, I took the scenic route to get
arrive here) is that we judge each other so freely and quickly, and whether
someone wants to divulge their reasons for losing weight, gaining weight,
growing a beard, shaving an eyebrow off or letting pubic hair grow long enough
to do a fishtail braid, it really is not our business to ask why.
My mother always taught me it was rude to ask any of the following;
“How old are you?” ,“Do you know your breath smells?” And “Can I ask, how big
is the circumference of your arse in centimetres?”.
So if I ask if my arse looks big? Even if its looking the
size of the Brazilian rainforest I’d rather live in ignorance, the answer is
always a resounding ‘no’.
Peace out my lovelies.
Is anyone on a particular diet at the moment? If you have
any questions about any of the diets I’ve mentioned or anything else (including
fat jokes) drop me a comment in the box below or send an email to the usual
place.
Disclaimer
Not everyone will
agree with the method of weight loss as offered by The Cambridge Diet and for
the record I neither endorse nor dissuade this particular program, it was
suggested to me by a medical professional and thus far it’s working wonders for
me.
It’s not in my
interest to encourage or discourage any kind of weight gain or loss,
particularly through any preferred diet companies. I have no affiliations with
The Cambridge Diet company, in the interest of equal airtime I’d like to add
that in the past I have used Weight Watchers, Slim Fast and the Atkins diet in
order to lose weight. I have been overweight and underweight and during a very
short period of my life suffered with bulimia which I quickly and fully
recovered from. Everyone is different, and I would encourage anyone reading
this to do whatever feels and works best for them in order to gain, lose or
maintain their weight.
