Monday, 19 September 2011

Creature From The Black Lagoon

Hello my lovelies! Tis I, back from the depths of blogging hiatus! Thank-you to those who have stuck around to see me blog another day and hello to any new readers!

Of course my absence, as always, can be blamed on none other than the No.1 culprit The Other Bowel Problems.
The weekend before last I was back in A&E again, clutching my poor tummy and babbling incoherently in my state of dehydrated delirium. Not how I'd usually like to spend my weekends, no matter how much morphine is involved. A nice nurse tried to conjure up a vein from the abyss of my arm and I was finally rehydrated and medicated up to the eyeballs.
It always seems that whenever I'm in hospital I'm only ever designated the young, good looking male doctors. Which on the face of it wouldn't be too bad, if my ailments were of the non embarrassing variety.
After reeling of every intimate detail of my bowels to a dishy A&E doctor I was then wheeled round to the Emergency Assessment Unit (EAU) where I then had to repeat the same conversation again with another handsome specimen, who I could hear outside at the nurses station snapping on a pair of sterile gloves while I lay on a sweat box of a hospital bed imagining what fresh hell could be about to occur that entailed the wearing of sterile gloves.
However I managed to side step the bum exam he intended for me by protesting I'd already been violated in A&E. Which I hadn't, but there was a flying bacon's chance I was got to let dishy doc numero deux anywhere near the junk on my trunk.
Anyone who has been in hospital will tell you its not the restful place it proclaims to be. When your not having your veins sized up, your being x-rayed, having your Ob's taken or being interrogated by all and sundry. Besides all this there is always plenty to keep you  awake, which was especially true of  my ward that night.
The lady in the bay next to mine, although perfectly able to walk seemed to enjoy punishing the nursing staff by being completely unco-operative and unhelpful every time she needed the commode 'I need a tinkle, NURRRRSEEE!', thus forcing the tiny Filipino staff nurse and equally dinky HCA to awkwardly maneuver her onto the bog on wheels.
Even after all this palaver she still manage to tiddle on the floor, which escaped the nurses notice up until the moment when putting the lady back in bed she waded through the puddle, booming in a voice that was surprisingly loud for someone the size of a Polly Pocket 'Oh darling, look! LOOK! You peed on the floor! Bed pan for you next time!'. 
I then forced myself to stay awake during ward rounds,which is my favourite part of the hospital day (after painkiller time) as you get to eavesdrop and find out whats wrong with everyone else on the ward. Not as if its hard really, since a peice of material pulled round a hospital bed hardly keeps people from being unable to hear whats going on behind it.
I was also pleased that I was awake to witness the effeminate cleaner mopping the floor with one hand on his hip humming 'I Want To Break Free' by Queen.

You couldn't make this stuff up.

Despite all this hospital high jinx, I managed to escape and have been moaning and bitching in the comfort of my own home ever since.
I've got to be honest and say that I've been finding my illness very hard to cope with recently, but I've devised a battle plan for my blog which will hopefully mean that I will be posting much more regularly and thus help to distract myself from feeling cruddy.
The Other Bowel Problems have dominated my life far too much recently and I've had to cancel some dates which have been really important to me, including one of my oldest friends Liz's wedding, which I was heartbroken to miss.
It annoys the crap out of me that my illness dictates so much of my life, and its all very well for people on the outside looking in to say 'well you shouldn't let it dictate your life' but with all the will in the world I cannot make my body behave just because I want it too.

Anyway. I have tonnes of recipes and interviews and all sorts of nice things in the the pipeline for you lovely lot.
Just starting uni? Head on over to Saara's blog The Gluten Free Student Cookbook for tips, advice and recipes on being a Coeliac student. Saara's lovely, and I've had a chance to get to know her a bit better through Twitter and she's a diamond so go check out her blog.
Skye posted an absolutely yummy looking cake recipe on her blog at the weekend, which I cannot wait to try. Skye has been an amazing friend to me over the past year and now that shes moved to Brighton I can't wait to spend some time with her.

Buckets of peppermint tea in my favourite mug have been keeping me going.

Filling in my pretty recipe file that Steve's mum bought me for my birthday this year.

My Dad and I are in love with Delicious mag at the moment

The super cute cupcake cross stitch that Skye sent me

Cosy new winter jammies.


  1. wah, poor katie! good to hear you're better now, peppermint tea's always a lifesaver with things like this hehe. and of course smexy pink pyjamas!

    ramz and the flock

  2. I've been chugging it by the litre! Always feel better after a cup of the minty stuff!! How are you my lovely? haha, not forgetting the smexy jammies, we should all have a pj off! x

  3. ohhh, i just wrote a really good comment and then my laptop crashed :( pah! but so happy to see a post from you :) and blushing at being mentioned so much! loving the positive vibes, you're a trooper xx

  4. Oh love!!! Glad you are feeling a tad more human, sounds horrific! Lots of love xx

  5. I just posted, but it said i'm not allowed access, KATTTTE?! ANYwho, I was so excited to see a post from you! :-) Although, i'm now not excited about starting on myward next week! Hope I don't put my hand in pee!! Lovely recipe file and amazing pjs!! xxx

  6. Katie, this cupcake cross stitch is divine! Have a nice evening!! LOL

  7. Sorry to hear you've been having such a tough time, hopefully things are on the up now! :) So lovely to see a post from you, and those pj's look so cosy!!xx

  8. @Skye, thankyou sweets, don't be daft you deserve it! :) haha, trying very hard to troop, but more like dragging myself half heartedly round the house! :D x

    @Gem, thankyou pumpkin, its definatly been intrusive, lets put it that way!haha! Lots of love and congrats again to you m'dear :) xxx

    @Soph I have no idea whats going on,i think its blogger, not just my blog. awww, your so sweet sop's! Haha, are you working with old people? cos puddles of pee are a very real possibility! Good Luck for next week! and Thankyou for the award, i only just saw it! thankyou so much! :) :) x

    @Manu, Its so cute isn't it? Skye made it for me, shes a clever thing isn't she? x

    @Daisy Aw thank-you so much for your lovely comment! Makes me so happy when people say that they like seeing posts from me :) makes my day! I'm getting there, slowly but surely, thankyou :) :) The Pjs are primark, only £8! xxx


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